Finally beginning to get my life in order again

It's been more than two months since I've updated on here, and I've gone pretty far since

Realized many things about many people and myself

Most of all about myself:
I've always tried way WAY too hard.
Trying hard is good when it matters, but I've been known to try far too hard when it doesn't. And I over analyze and over exaggerate things and make them seem like they matter more than they do, just so I can justify my efforts.
And I'm beginning to let go.
I've held myself back from so many golden opportunities because I was trying too hard for something else. It's what I had wanted, so I turned away things that could have been good for me (probably even better).
And I'm not going to do that anymore.

I finally broke down and applied at a call center in Tigard. They want me to come in tomorrow and take a tour (where, by my understanding, they flat offer me a job at the end). It isn't glorious and it certainly isn't what I was shooting for. But it's a job, one I'm sure to get, and one with a number of great benefits behind it.

But the #1 things I always tried to hard about

Relationships

That's the huge one. That's the one that caused me to throw away so much.
I've always tried so hard to have a full committed relationship with someone, that I was blind to the harm it was causing me, and all the great things being offered to me outside of it.
I shot down people I had at least some feeling for because I wanted a relationship NOW. I wanted it to start right then, right there!
I wanted to be with someone and have it grow from the beginning, but I always thought there was only one beginning. "Hey, I'm really into you. You're into me too? Let's go out, then go out again, and then we'll just BE together! Hooray!"
But I was so fucking wrong!
And yet there's so much more to it.
I ended up getting drunk and making out with someone on my birthday, and stopped myself from having sex with them, because I told them at that exact moment that I wanted a relationship with them. The next day, I got shot down. It hurt, but it helped me so much.
Since then, I've done things that I would have sworn in my past that I wouldn't do. Because I wasn't "That Guy". But now it's happened.
And we both understand it's just a fun thing. There's nothing serious about it.
Though, honestly, I do really care about this person. If somewhere down the road, things evolved and grew into something bigger and something serious, I'd be perfectly fine and accepting of it.
But I don't expect it to happen. And I'm perfectly fine if it doesn't. It's not my goal. It's not what I'm pushing for this time.
And it makes me happy.
I used to think that being in such a position would be depressing, and similar situations often were for me.
But I'm actually happy with it now. I never understood before how great I could feel.

So, that's my "short update" for now
I don't know
I guess I'm just really happy with the way things are for me now
Happy enough that I really want to share it with people